Monday, April 1, 2013

Changes & Time (Or the Lack Thereof)

I really thought we were all set with our decision to raise meat birds this year. We thought long and hard about it and debated pros and cons and discussed with the kids and all that stuff. We ordered 25 Rainbow Rangers from Meyer Hatchery. Right after I ordered, I had farmer's remorse. What the heck am I thinking?? We don't have time to take care of any more animals!! How much money is this all going to cost?? How much emotional turmoil  is there going to be when it's time to do the deed??

You know, that sort of thing.

 But I really and truly had reconciled myself to all of that and was pretty excited about it. Excited, but still a little stressed. Because even though meat chickens are a more temporary project than some others we've got going on here, it still involves a good 10 week commitment to the feeding, housing, and care of 25 more creatures. Still, I had placed the order, and I fully intended to go through with it.

Then our credit card got canceled due to a fraud incident and we had to get a new one issued. As I was making up the list of places to call that would need the  new number, I remembered the meat chickens. They were to be charged to our old card once they shipped. And when I realized I would have to go in to my account to update my order I thought: I could cancel it too.

And the thought made me feel very relieved. I have been feeling more than a little stressed lately about everything that needs to be done around here, just with our current chickens, goats, ducks, and garden, plus the house, not to mention the kids and the homeschooling...

So I did cancel our chick order, but I am sad about it.  I love doing all this stuff and I very much wish there was more time in a day so I could do everything. But there really just isn't! And I need to come to terms with the fact that I am not going to be superwoman, and I am not going to be Soule Mama- wow how she does everything she does I will never know! The truth is, there is only so much I can squeeze into a day without feeling overwhelmed and without more important things-like the kids & husband- suffering from neglect.

I hope to revisit this decision one day, maybe when the kids are older and don't want to spend an hour reading picture books on the porch, or having their nails painted like big girls, or playing Memory on the floor. For now, I very much want and need to focus on the kids and the fun learning we are doing together.  The animals and the garden can be part of that, but I need to keep things balanced. Sad as it may be, that  means accepting that some of the other goals I have- the meat chickens, the orchard, the turkeys, the sheep....will need to wait their turn, whenever that may be.

We will still be getting our six new layers in the spring. We will also be planting raspberries, rhubarb, horseradish, and potatoes in addition to our regular garden. We will hopefully get the goat house painted. We still have lots of fun things planned around the little backyard farm, we are just getting a bit more realistic.

Truly, my hat is off to those that can make this all work. So many of the awesome blogger mom homesteaders out there that do ever so many things...I am just in awe, really. I mean, I know no one can do it all. But some people sure seem to! I am finding though, that it is so easy to get in over your head with this stuff. Everywhere I look I see so many things I want to try!

But I can only do what I can do.  No more. It's tough to find that balance between going for your goals and being realistic about your time, but I think it is possible. I sure hope it is anyway!